so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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