i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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