i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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