i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
