i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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