Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
