Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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