Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i love accidental penises.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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