I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I will pee on everything he values.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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