She announced her abortion via fbk
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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