I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
