My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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