just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
