I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize