the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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