i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
