My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
