ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
4 words: hood of his car
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
