Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
