At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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