What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
