I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
