it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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