So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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