so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
