The maid of honor just puked.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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