Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events

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(650): View more from California

Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.

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(319): View more from Iowa

We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar

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(812): View more from Indiana

I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again

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(313): View more from Michigan

Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.

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(631): View more from New York

i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.

(1-631): View more from New York

I suggest you not find out the hard way

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(702): View more from Nevada

I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.

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