Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
