she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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