K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
