Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
