White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
