dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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