he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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