then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
