it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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