You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You need Xanax blowdarts
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
