he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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