areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
