No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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