are you still at the devil's house?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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