youre lurking in front of me
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
