I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
