Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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