Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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