So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
