Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
it's like heaven, but drunker
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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