The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
