I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
