Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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