If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
