Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
