I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I am spending my child support on dildos
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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