Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
