4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
