i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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