i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
