Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Two words: nipple clamps
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