remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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