i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
is wine microwaveable?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
