First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
