OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
