i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I think I am morally bankrupt
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
