The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
