omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
In America we eat man semen.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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