Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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