Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
