I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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