people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
