i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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