Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize