This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
The adults are the big ones right?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
