id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
