It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
