The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I know her cup size but not her name....
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
