you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize