i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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