She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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