I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
